everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
