There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
