we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
