Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
