I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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