I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
