Don't you send me to vm
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize