Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
