This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
