So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
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