the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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