The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
