with your own penis?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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