Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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