Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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