Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
