Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
