All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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