Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
