i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
