FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
