I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
