How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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