this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
