I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Everyone says I win the strip club
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
so much tequila, so little girl.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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