I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
