you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
