I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
