Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
