I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
