a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
