I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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