I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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