also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize