I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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