You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
