Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
