I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
