Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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