What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
