I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
