So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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