I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you win again, gameday.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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