he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
