I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
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