ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
