I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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