found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
