Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
