turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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