Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You ruined the universe
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
