Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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