Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
