windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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