my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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