Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
