Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
