Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
