Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
