Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
